I Can't Believe Its Been A Year

 The last blog I was working on (that I  never published) was Nov 8th 2025--A little more than a whole year later, here I am, making another post (that I WILL publish). 

I feel like I usually come here to write when I am at a weird point in my life. Yes, it's mostly food reviews and recipes but, I also feel like this is my outlet when I need to get my thoughts out. Maybe I feel this way because someone, somewhere might read this and relate to it in some way? At the end of the day, posting stuff about my own feelings is, truly, at the core of it all, for myself. 

I have been feeling unfulfilled in my job lately and decided I would go back to school. Long story short: that fell through (due to the school dropping the ball, me second-guessing my decision and getting cold feet.) I acquired a job at the pilates studio I frequented over the last couple of months and I have been there for about a month and... I'm bored. The pay is terrible (how does anyone live off of minimum wage??) and the job is incredibly repetitive. I initially got this job to "give myself something to do while being a part of a team, that comes with job perks" but... I am so bored. This job was never about money but the wages and job itself makes it incredibly difficult to wake up, go to work and feel inspired by the job I am doing. 

I feel like I am treading water. I am not drowning but I am also not going anywhere. I don't really know what I want for myself or what I think is next. Normally, I have a pretty clear idea of the direction I want to go but, I've been feeling incredibly lost lately. I just... Don't know what brings me joy that I can see myself doing for the rest of my life; or at least for more than a month. It also feels impossible to put more time/effort/hours into something that pays me $17.50/hour for my efforts. I always circle back to this blog but, unfortunately, writing a blog nobody reads won't pay my bills. I'd love to be posting about travel and food and make a living off of it but, I think gone are the days of anyone making money off of a blog (did anyone ever? Plus, can kids even read anymore? Does anyone have an attention span these days?) It's all "content creation" now. Which, I feel like I am becoming further and further removed from understanding as a whole. I do not understand "the youths" anymore. I have become an old lady at the ripe old age of 33. 

I know they say two things, "do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life" and "do what you love and the money will follow." Unfortunately, I love to do nothing. Okay, that's not entirely true; but I definitely don't like to do anything that could potentially make me money. I like little arts and crafts but nothing that is worth selling en masse. I love to travel and share my experiences but, do not have a large enough following to sustain that long-term. I suppose my audience would grow, the more I do it but, how feasible is it it to actually make money with that kind of content? Everyone and their dog (literally) makes travel and/or food content these days. What else do I like? .........??? Anything I feel like I enjoy, the market is already saturated (go figure). Very difficult to feel positive during such difficult times (not even personally; have you seen the state of the world lately?) It also feels impossible to do anything that can sustain my lifestyle? I don't live frivolously by any means, I just mean: paying rent, bills and for groceries, feels impossible in todays age. Everything is so. damn. expensive! 

Maybe I should wrap this up. This is beginning to feel like a redundant blog about nothing productive. I guess ultimately this was just a post for me to get all my thoughts and feelings out. Either way, I will leave this here.